In my 50’s I felt I had God’s blessing on my life.  I believed God was blessing me abundantly in this stage because I had already gone through difficult times earlier in life.  I truly believed God had given me hope and a future.

I had a kind husband who adored me, a ministry and career as a Christian counselor, successful children and three beautiful grandchildren.   I had a wonderful church and many loyal friends. I wanted for nothing and felt secure.

My life felt stable and purposeful. I had a close relationship with God and felt content in my soul.  Then, suddenly, within a three month period everything changed. My sweet husband became ill and was hospitalized.  Three months later I was preparing for his funeral.

I was shocked and in disbelief that this could have happened. I thought God must hate me to take my husband from me, along with my secure peaceful life.

I went through a year of intense grief. I had loved  deeply, and therefore I grieved deeply.  With God’s help I did what I needed to do to emerge from the grief whole.

It was an interesting journey filled with many lessons and deep spiritual growth. I learned to trust God’s providence and to trust Him again with my future.  I learned to walk closely with Him and to find peace in His presence, rather than seeking it in perfect circumstances.

After my year of grief I knew I was ready to love again, I was ready for God to repurpose my life.  As I opened my heart to receive all that God had for me, circumstances began to change.  I met a wonderful man who I am now engaged to.

Along with this wonderful man God brought the opportunity to be a part of missions work.  The man God chose for me is a missionary and I will be walking along beside him in his work.  This was a special blessing to me because I had felt God calling me to be a missionary as a teenager.   It’s amazing how God works!

I now have a renewal of my hope in God’s promise in the Bible to prosper us and not to harm us, to give us hope and a future.  I may never fully understand why I have experienced the things I’ve gone through in life.

I only know that God meant them for my good, that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose,  as His word says.

I know that He goes before me and walks beside me on the path that He has for me.  I now walk in the present with my big God, with my God who can do anything.  And, with hope renewed, I look forward to the new life He has for me.